As all of you know, I left for Germany on May 15th and was lucky enough to get a direct flight from Chicago to Munich. I wasn’t so lucky in booking my return flight and I had to fly through Montreal Canada. I had never been to Montreal before so I figured it couldn’t be too bad. Plus normally all the direct flights from Munich to Chicago leave around 11am and this flight to Montreal didn’t leave until 3:30pm which meant that I could sleep in and start my long day a little later.
I wasn’t sure if I was going to have to go through customs in Canada since I was only going to be there for an hour and 25 minutes, but when I checked in in Munich, they told me I had to pick my bags up in Montreal and clear customs. It wasn’t something I was looking forward to, but what can you do.
Let me just say, that I think the personnel at the check-in counters for Lufthansa in Germany are on a power trip. I remember back in 2004 when I was coming home from Germany after living there for a year, I was 2kg over on the baggage weight limit and they wanted to charge me 90 Euros. I was like you have got to be kidding me. Luckily, I found a heavy book in my back and took it out and added it to my carryon luggage and I didn’t have to pay the fine. Now this is in contrast to the check-in personnel for United in Chicago where I left with 4 bags and although you are only allowed 2 bags, she only charged me $100 for the one because I told her this was a personal trip and not for business.
So this time of course was no different. I wasn’t exactly sure how much weight each bag was supposed to have, but when I got there they said 23kg per bag. My first smaller bag was 17kg and the larger one was 27kg. So I figured, sweet, together I’m still below the 46kg limit. WRONG, she was like can you take some things out of the larger bag and put it in the smaller one. YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME! I understand that there is a weight limit so we don’t crash the plane or something, but does it really matter. If my 60kg frame can lift the damn bag up on the belt thingy, then I’m sure the people working there can to.
So after I opened the damn bag up and threw a couple of things in the smaller bag (which was already full) I asked how many kg I had to add to the smaller one and she was like that’s fine. I was like WTF, so it really doesn’t matter. Then she told me that she couldn’t give me my boarding pass for Montreal and I had to check-in there again too. Which I didn’t think would be a problem, but keep it in mind for later on in the story.
So then I said goodbye to my cousin and proceeded to my gate. Luckily I was able to find a plug and plugged in my computer and listened to a few podcasts until we were ready to board. Of course the plane left a little late, but we made up for it in the air and we arrived in Montreal on time at 5:50pm.
I knew I didn’t have much time to spare because my flight from Montreal to Chicago left at 7:15pm. So I ran to the bathroom and then quickly proceeded to passport control. It took me a while to figure out where the hell I had to go but then I was pleased to see a much shorter line for connection flights and asked the lady if this is where I needed to be since I was flying to the US and she said yes. Then I came to the new lady that was full of herself, the Canadian passport control official. She asked how long I was going to be in Canada and I was like an hour, I’m just connecting here to the US. She was like where were you before. I said Germany. She then asked how long. I said 3 weeks. What was my reason for being in Germany. I said vacation. Then she asked what I did for a living. I said I was currently unemployed and then she asked who payed for my ticket. I was like I did. WTF. I’m only going to be in your country for an hour and your giving me the third degree. It’s really none of your fucking business, but of course I didn’t say that.
Then from there I ran to baggage claim and of course was standing in front of the wrong one for a couple of minutes before realizing that the arrow was pointing the other way for my baggage claim. Keep in mind that I had already been flying for some 8 hours and it was already 11pm German time. So I finally got my luggage and followed the signs through customs (which is a joke) they just take the damn card and let you go on your way. Then I had to give back up my bags for my next flight. I followed the signs and stood in line and when it was my turn the guy took the tags off my baggage and said I had to check-in upstairs. I was like WTF. Luckily there was another couple going to Chicago in front of me and we both headed upstairs. As soon as I saw the Air Canada counter and that it was all self check-in, I asked someone for help and said I needed to get my bags rechecked in. She went to the little kiosk and tried typing my information in there but it wasn’t showing up. Then she asked if I had a credit card and I gave it to her and that still didn’t work so then she took my ticket info and started running back and forth from the Air Canada counter to the United counter (where no one was there). Finally I went up to the counter with my bags and asked what was going on. It had been anywhere from 5 to 10 minutes at this point and they called United and said that the flight was now closed. Keep in mind that it is now around 6:40 – 6:45pm. So my flight doesn’t take off for another 30 to 35 minutes, but they are saying that I can’t check in my bags. So I asked if there was another flight to Chicago and of course this was the last flight of the night. I said can I just go to the gate and if my baggage comes tomorrow, that’s fine. They said NO because I didn’t have a boarding pass. I was like, I couldn’t get it in Munich. Can’t you just let me through or give me a boarding pass here and they said they couldn’t. Then I asked if I could get a flight to a nearby area like Milwaukee, WI or something and they said that all their flights in the vicinity go to Chicago and then people get connections from there. So pretty much my flight is leaving in 30 minutes, but I can’t get checked in until the 6am flight the next day. Needless to say, I’m pissed.
As a little recap, I bought my tickets through Orbitz with United. I flew from Chicago to Munich on an United airplane, but United and Lufthansa are partners through the Star Alliance and I was on a Lufthansa plane from Munich to Montreal. Then my ticket said I was flying with Air Canada from Montreal to Chicago on a United Express plane. What all this means, I don’t know. But I’d like to say that their Alliance sucks because when something goes wrong, everybody seems to say it isn’t our problem.
So after Air Canada couldn’t help me and no one was at the United counter since their counter is closed and they are at the gate getting ready to take off, they sent me over to Lufthansa to see if they could help. Of course they couldn’t do anything so I went back over and the Air Canada lady gave me a number for United. To top it all off, my cell phone stopped working while I was in Germany so now I’m stuck in Montreal without a cell phone, but luckily I had a couple of minutes left on a calling card and the United number was toll free.
So I explain the situation and at this point my plane is taking off in about 5-10 minutes so there really isn’t anything anybody can do, but I was some answers or at least some accommodations. At this point there I was along with 2 other couples. The 1 couple got boarding passes and were able to run to the gate to see if they could make it but I was there with another couple who wasn’t fortunate enough to get a boarding pass in Munich. So the United lady told me that there really wasn’t anything she could do. They don’t have United personnel in Montreal and everything is done through their Air Canada counter. (Which was just perfect since the Air Canada counter didn’t have the program to get me a boarding pass or check me in.) However, she did say that she gave me and the other couple a reservation for the 6am flight from Montreal to Chicago. She said to go up to the counter and give them our old tickets and she would get us new ones. I asked about hotel accommodations and she said that the lady at the Air Canada counter could help me with that too, but she can’t do anything from where she is.
So I went up to the Air Canada counter once again and told her what the United lady said and she said she we didn’t need a new ticket. We could just give up our current tickets in the morning for the 6am flight. Then we asked if there were seats available for the 6am flight and she said she didn’t know and couldn’t check until United personnel were there. Then I asked about hotel accommodations and she said that they weren’t getting us hotels because it wasn’t their fault that we missed our flight since the Lufthansa flight got in on time. (This is the kind of customer service that I love.) I said it wasn’t my fault either that customs and passport control took so long and that you close the counters 45 minutes before the flight takes off. How was I suppose to make this flight? And she was like yeah that would have been hard to make. So then my question is why did they book it for me? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH You know in Munich we all waited in the plane for 1 passenger who was coming from Frankfurt. And here I had 30 minutes and they couldn’t hold the friggin plane knowing that it’s the last flight out for the night and that I just flew for 8 hours. So the other couple next to me asked for hotel information, but I refused to spend any money in Montreal and decided to just rough it in the airport. We both asked if we could check in our bags for the 6am flight and of course the friendly people at the Air Canada counter said NO. So now I was able to roam around the Montreal Airport until 4:30am (when the United counter opened) with all my bags on top of it.
I then called my dad to say that I wasn’t going to be in Chicago in 2 hours and that I was hoping to get on a 6am flight. He was like who is going to pick you up at 7:20am in Chicago. I was like hopefully you will. But then I had to go because I only had 5 minutes on my calling card. At this point my nerves are starting to unravel and I’m about to lose it. Since I had ohhhhhhhh what some 11 hours to kill, I decided to call Orbitz next since I did book my ticket through them. They were about as helpless as you can get, but did connect me to United once again where they said they were sorry but really couldn’t do anything for me. I apologized and said I knew it wasn’t her fault but this was insane and then I started to lose it. The poor lady on the other line felt bad for me and was like your really not going to spend the night there are you, and I was like yes I am. Then I said I had insurance and doesn’t that mean anything and that’s when the Orbitz lady joined into our little conference call once again and said that the insurance that I bought was from a third-party and she could give me the number for Access America and I could ask them what the insurance could cover. So I thanked them both and called the insurance company. It took him a while to find my policy and he was also very nice on the phone but apparently the insurance that I bought didn’t cover hotel costs for missed flights, that was another type of insurance. But if I was killed or injured, or a victim of a terrorist plot, I would have been covered. Good to know!
Well after all the phone conversations it was time to scope out the airport. Then was an information desk so I asked if there was a place that I could store my bags overnight and she said of course, but it would cost me. Once again I refuse to give any money to Montreal, so I asked if there was anyplace that I could go with my bags and she said there was a lounge on the second floor that was open 24 hours. Just go past the Burger King and take the elevator up. So that’s what I did and I was surprised to see a huge room with a bunch of couches. I scoped out a place and hooked up my laptop and started listening to some podcasts. Of course there was wireless internet throughout the entire Airport (and also on my flight from Munich to Montreal), but stupid me thought I wouldn’t need it and left my wireless card at home. But then I looked at my watch and realized that it was 8:45pm and with my luck there wasn’t going to be anything open 24hours so I needed to get a bite to eat before everything closes. So I packed everything up and went downstairs and it looked like Burger King would be my cheapest best bet. I asked if they accepted credit cards since of course I didn’t have any Canadian Dollars and I didn’t want any of their damn money. I already bought a postcard (I wrote a nice postcard to my cousin in Germany about my extended stay in Montreal) before I headed up to the lounge and the guy was nice enough to accept both US Dollars and Euros for the same price and the weaker valued Canadian Dollar. And luckily I had correct change because if I didn’t I would’ve gotten Canadian money back.
Luckily they accepted credit cards so I bought 2 bottles of coke to help me through the night and then decided on a BK Big Fish and a large fry. Of course since they closed at 9pm (in 15 minutes) after paying I was told that they didn’t have anymore Fish today. SO I asked what was the same price. Then the manager came up and suggested the Broiled Chicken. I was like I never tried it before and he and the employee said it was good. Then another employee said it cost more but the manager said he didn’t care and to just give it to me. So I finally got my chicken sandwich and sat down and wasn’t even really hungry. I was so tired and just exhausted that I didn’t even want to eat but I knew I had to because I needed to make it on that 6am flight. As I was sitting there and eating, the manager came up to me and asked me how I liked the grilled chicken. I told him it was good and thanked him. Thanked him for being the only kind and compassionate person in that entire damn airport. It’s amazing what his small gesture did for me. Gave me hope in the human race. OK maybe I am being a bit dramatic but I was tired damn it.
After my sandwich, I decided to save the fries for a snack for later and went out for a search for a bathroom where I could wheel my luggage in with me as well. Luckily I found one with a large enough handicapped stall so I could bring my luggage in with me. Afterall, that’s all I needed was to go to the bathroom and return to find someone had stolen my stuff or worse, the police had confiscated it because it was left alone.
Then I headed up to the lounge and claimed my territory for the night. I ran into another younger guy and girl who had just met one another because they were on the same flight here and the same connection and ran into a similar problem. So I watched their bags while they got something to eat and then later on in the night they watched mine while I went to the bathroom. The one nice thing about the lounge was that police and security did walk through often so at least you knew it was secure. Of course the maintenance crew also walked threw often and weren’t the quietest bunch, but what can you do.
Around 3am after dozing in and out of consciousness while listening to podcasts on my computer, I decided to get up and try to make myself look presentable. Of course when I got up, some guy moved a couch near mine so I couldn’t even get my damn cart out. I accidentally pumped his couch trying to get out and it woke him up and he had the nerve to give me a look. Luckily I wasn’t even in the mood to give him a piece of my mind and I headed down to my luxury handicapped bathroom stall where at least I had my luggage so I could put on some clean underwear and socks. It was nice since there wasn’t anyone there that I just brushed my teeth and washed my face right there. Of course, they only had the air dryers in the bathroom but I still had some napkins from my Burger King food so I was able to dry off my face and at least put some coverup on.
Then I headed over to the United counter where I was surprised to see 2 people already in line. So I got in line behind them and explained my story and of course everyone felt bad for me. The United Counter opened a couple minutes early and I explained everything that had happened the night before the United lady. She said there was room on the 6am flight (THANK YOU) and she would be right back. Apparently there was nothing she could do concerning what had happened last night but suggested I called the United customer service department when I got back home. (Something I still have to do.)
So I got my boarding pass and then waited in another long line to go through US customs. How this is possible in Canada, I don’t know but I was glad that I could do it then as opposed to having to do it once I got to Chicago. I was greeted by a much nicer American Passport Control guy who was cracking jokes and even said Auf Wiedersehen (goodbye in German). At least I didn’t the 20 questions that the bitchy Canadian official gave me.
From there, I handed my customs form to the next official and was able to give my bags up to baggage claim. Then I headed to my gate. Of course it wasn’t open yet so I sat on a chair by the pay phones and waited a couple more minutes before calling home to let my parents know I actually got on the 6am flight. I waited until around 5:15am which was only 4:15am in Chicago and of course only had a minute left on my calling card and told them the flight information and got a guarantee that they would pick me up. I then went to the bathroom and when I came back, found out our flight was delayed. WTF. Of course this happens AFTER I call home to say when I am suppose to get in. Of course the flight I have waited 11 hours to catch is delayed. When I need a delay, I don’t get one. And why are we delayed? Because the crew got in late last night and federal law says they need at least 8 hours rest between flights. Now didn’t they know this at OH 10pm last night or at least at 4am when I checked in. I’m telling you, that was my first and last time in Montreal. I will NEVER AGAIN get a connection through Canada.
I finally got on the plane (which was quite small), but luckily not full so I had the seat next to me free. I dozed off for maybe 20 minutes and was never so happy in my life to hear Welcome to Chicago. We had gained some time in the air and was only about 25 minutes late. So I once again ran to the bathroom and then headed down to baggage claim. After about 20 minutes of waiting, I went over to the baggage claim information desk and the guy said it usually takes between 20 and 30 minutes. Of course, once I headed back, the bags started to come and mine were the only 2 that came. I guess everyone else had a connection and their bags got checked through.
Then came the fun part. Since I didn’t have a working cell phone which I usually use to say I’m here, got my bags, and I’m standing outside of door whatever. Now I’m in baggage claim and don’t see anyone. I asked my dad to come into baggage claim so at least he could then call my mom and say stop circling we are here. But no mom or dad in sight. So I headed outside to see if they were sitting out there. OH not only do I not have a cell phone but a couple of days before my dad told me that my mom got a new minivan. So I don’t even know what car they are picking me up in and if it’s the new one, what it looks like. So I started from one end and walked to the other to see if they were parked on the side of the road and since I didn’t see them, I figured they were circling. So I stood there waiting for about 20 minutes and getting ever more pissed as I waited. I was like WTF, I should just take a cab. Then I decided to go inside and since my cell phone didn’t work and I didn’t know anyone’s cell numbers, I had to find a plug, plug in my laptop, and write down the cell phone numbers. Of course I also didn’t have any change so I tried to call my mom and dad’s cell phones collect and OF COURSE their cell phones don’t accept collect calls. I really am pissed, tired, and really lacking in patience at this point. It is around 8am which is 3pm in Germany. I woke up at 10am on Tuesday in Germany and it is now 3pm on Wednesday in Germany. The half-conscious state that I was in at the airport really doesn’t count as sleep in my mind so I was now up for 29 hours.
I was calculating all this in my mind when finally I see my mom and dad. Apparently traffic was horrible and it took them over 2 hours to get to the airport which just made me thrilled thinking it would take even longer to get home. Once I got home, I wasn’t even tired anymore. I grabbed something to eat and unloaded the presents which I knew my mom was waiting for before going to work. Then I went up to my room and unpacked everything and started trying to get organized.
I ended up holding out until around 7:30pm which means I was up from (in Chicago time) 3am on Tuesday until 7:30pm on Wednesday. So that is … 40 and a half hours. I woke up a couple of times in the night but never opened my eyes and just went back to sleep. I got up at 5:30am to go to the bathroom and got something to eat and then went back to sleep at 7am and slept until 11am. So that is how I beat the jetlag I guess. Although I would rather have a couple of days of jetlag as opposed to hell in Montreal.
